It's cute?!?!

So I have been thin or relatively so for all 27 years of my life. This morning I woke up to the realization that I am not. Not only that, but I am supposed to be excited, even giddy about my new rounding body. What's up with that?!?! I mean don't get me wrong, I am thrilled about what my plump new center means but still the idea of seeing yourself being blown up like a balloon is not fun at all!!! You see, I am 19 weeks and 5 days pregnant with our first child! Thrilling, yes; but an ethereal, connected to the Earth experience, no!

Just a few short weeks ago, I could not wait to see my protruding belly. I thought it would be cute like Heidi Klum or Angelina Jolie but guess what???? If you didn't have their body pre-preggars you don't magically get it because a sweet little baby arrives in your belly!!! Nope, hate to say it out loud but this morning I realized there isn't a thing about this that is cute! Your clothes don't fit so you are actually running around town with your pants unzipped and unbuttoned and the only thing separating you from the song "Pants on the Ground" is a tight spandex tube! You can kiss button down shirts goodbye unless you are just gonna wear them unbuttoned and let the girls fly or go to the dreaded cami that really shows off that baby bump! Shoes are becoming an issue because you really can't wear anything complicated because you will never get them on. If you can't slip into them or call your husband over to put them on for you, forget it! And bras!!! Why don't they have maternity bras??? They have nursing bras. Why hasn't someone invented a bra that somehow grows with you! I had to go buy a new bra this weekend and I still have 5 months to grow....oh I mean go! This is not going to be pretty come August!

Oh but everywhere you go, friends and family start seeing the first "signs of life" and they all exclaim.... "LOOK HOW CUTE!!!!" It thrills people (myself included until just this week) to see that yes you really are going to have a baby and here is the magical proof. Forget all the stuff you have been telling them that has suddenly begun to malfunction in your body, this, this little bulge proves it! Not the sonogram image of the shrimp. Not the videotape of the heart beat. Not the process of picking out the name. Nope this single "little" transformation makes it real to anyone that knows you.

But just as I think, man is this really worth it? My baby begins to stretch and move and I realize I never had a chance. Of course it's worth it! This baby is the product of the love my husband and I share. This is half him and half me! (Hopefully more him than me!) This is everything we have dreamed of. So I will watch as I can eventually eat my morning cereal off my stomach and be happy about it but for now I will just think its a little surreal.