Usually I would be categorized as a fairly intelligent person with a better than average memory. Usually. Since getting pregnant, I have done some of the silliest and stupidest things with no explanation other than "Pregnancy Brain" or "Momnesia".
Carrying on the simplest conversation has become quite a task as I have a hard time remembering nouns in general and proper nouns are nearly impossible! In the first paragraph of this blog I sat for nearly 5 minutes trying to remember a fairly easy word that had just "left me." If I know you and bump into you on the street, please do not be offended if I don't remember your name. I am having a hard enough time remembering mine! But if it were just nouns and names, I might just chalk it up to being a little overwhelmed right now and call the whole "Momnesia" thing a myth.
Hubby, who has the memory of a gnat, has thoroughly enjoyed this pregnancy phenomenon! He thinks he can pull stuff over on me now and I won't realize it or he can just get a great laugh at all my antics. So far the top contenders have been:
I went to lunch one day and had driven ( I normally walk) to a restaurant. When I had savored my yummy meal I hopped into my car to return to work. I looked behind me and on both sides and took in all the vehicles in the crowded parking lot. I then proceeded to back straight into a parked car. It was like my eyes saw it but my brain said, "No, I refuse to process this information. You can just back your happy little self into it, but I am not processing." I was in shock. What just happened?!?! I pulled forward. Got out of the car and went about giving the owner my insurance information. Luckily no damage to my car and minimal damage to hers. She looked at me dumbfounded the entire time. It was like she was saying. "Are you serious, chick?!?! You just backed straight into a car parked and not moving?!?!" Of course the through the whole process I kept telling her I was pregnant and I wasn't myself but she wasn't buying it.
Next I had gone to lunch with a friend and had ordered my food and found a seat. We sat and talked for a while before they brought out the first plate. They told us which sandwich it was and I proudly pointed to my friend who gave me a very strange look. (Keep in mind, this friend is a vegetarian and this sandwich was heaped with meat!) After a double take and finally processing what had been said, I realized it was indeed mine. To make matters worse, when the waitress returned with my friend's 5 minutes later I asked, sadly in a bit of a condescending tone, if I could get a fork for my fruit. Again my friend and the waitress gave me the same strange look. I look at both of them confused and then down at my plate only to realize there was a fork sitting square in the middle of my plate and had been the entire 5 minutes. I apologized profusely and again explained I was pregnant and apparently cannot think straight, and just like the woman whose car I hit, they nodded sympathetically.
On yet another lunch outing (are we sensing a theme here?!?!) I had gone to our beautiful library which houses a great little cafe inside to pick up lunch to take for a picnic lunch at Music in the Park. I made it all the way through ordering, paying and leaving with (I think) no glitches. As I was heading outside to enjoy the afternoon sunshine and a little live music, the door in front of me didn't open. I waved my hand in front of the sensor trying to get the doors to slide open. I jumped up and down a little (which isn't so pretty now). I tried prying the doors apart like you do when you try to leave through the entrance doors at Target. Nothing was working. Great. I am getting pretty hungry and ready to sit down after my 3 block walk to the library. While pondering what I should do next, it was like my molasses brain finally turned a gear. I took a step forward and held out my arm and pushed the door open. AGGGHHHHH! CRAP! WHO JUST SAW ME?!?!?! I couldn't bear to look back through the NONsliding door. I pushed the next door open with ease and ran into the park hoping I had escaped too many onlookers.
GEEZE! I officially feel like a moron and the incidents seem to be getting more and more frequent and more and more stupid! I have 11 weeks to go and I am praying my brain can carry me through that long. Everyone reassures me though that it is only going to get worse once the baby is born so I guess I should take this time to say goodbye to my good senses. Bon voyage memory. Adios intelligence. It has been a great run. I hope we meet again one day. Until then, I will try not to lose too much dignity and uphold some sense of normality.
Now, what was I saying...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
I Am Not Prepar-ed
Child Birth Preparedness Class. As the name so obviously states, a class that supposedly prepares you for the birth of your child. I personally think it should be included in that great list of oxymorons that exists somewhere. Like "accurate election", "cheap gas" and "decaffeinated coffee". Can anyone actually be prepared for this experience? Does watching a video of some crazy naked lady who wants to sit on her knees to give birth with absolutely no pain medication really prepare you to push 10 cm out of your who who? I don't think so!
But knowing this class will not prepare us at all did not stop Hubby and I from going to the first of 5 classes last night. It reminded me of the first day of school. We walked in and everyone was sitting quietly close to their partner curiously watching each move the other participants made. And to make matters worse, it was like our new homeroom just happened to be Sex Ed. It doesn't matter that the guys are ranging in age from mid-twenties to mid-thirties, they still had to smirk and laugh and make sideways comments through the entire class! My clever hubby raised his hand when the teacher asked if anyone wasn't going to be delivering at this particular hospital. The teacher was very efficient and was ready to write down where we would be when my husband promptly informed her that HE wasn't delivering anywhere, it would be me! I of course gave him the first of many death looks but couldn't stop myself from laughing at his wittiness. (He usually isn't quite so quick!) As the teacher plowed forward through all the guy humor she got to the point where you discuss the actual labor process, how long each portion of labor will generally take and what it will "look like" for Mom. She explained that the first portion of labor can take up to 8 hours. Hubby is on a roll. He can hardly contain himself as he leans over to tell me, "I give up on a poop after 20 minutes!" and smiles from ear to ear like it is the funniest thing he has heard all day. I laugh to myself but cover my face in embarrassment! This is going to be a LONG 5 weeks!
After the first class, hubby is more convinced than ever that there is NO NEED for him to leave my head. He doesn't have to see what the doctor is doing nor does he want to. I have already given him the OK that he can do whatever makes him the most comfortable, whether that be staying close to my head and waiting until the baby is all clean to hold or helping the doc deliver and cutting the umbilical cord. Whatever works to keep him upright and off the hospital floor is perfect for me!
During the class the teacher told us we would be coming up with our birthing plan where we write down how we want this process to go and things we hope to do during labor. As I sat and thought about it I realized I must be extremely ignorant because right now, the plan is to have contractions, get in the car, drive to the hospital, wheel me in, hook me in to the epidural, labor for however long it takes and have a baby. I thought that was ALL there was to it? There's more? It has to get complicated? Is it going to become some big production like our wedding? Maybe I am just simpleminded but I don't want to have to think of a birth plan. That's what my doctors and nurses went to school for. They should tell me what I am supposed to be doing. Hopefully not balancing precariously on some giant rubber ball or on all fours delivering backwards but just say push when its time to push and up the meds when I hurt worse. Right? Isn't that the idea? Why do we have to get creative with it. No one is going to remember how I gave birth, just that I did. I would have never known there were so many options out there. It seems like the old standard has worked pretty well for the last few hundred years.
So hopefully in 5 weeks I will be MORE prepared than I am now but fully aware that I am not prepared at all for what will be happening in 12 short weeks. Never have I felt so incompetent at something and been so excited for it! I cannot wait to meet my child but I know it is going to be one of the most challenging experiences of my life! As my Mom always said, it's like the Marines. It's the hardest job you'll ever love.
But knowing this class will not prepare us at all did not stop Hubby and I from going to the first of 5 classes last night. It reminded me of the first day of school. We walked in and everyone was sitting quietly close to their partner curiously watching each move the other participants made. And to make matters worse, it was like our new homeroom just happened to be Sex Ed. It doesn't matter that the guys are ranging in age from mid-twenties to mid-thirties, they still had to smirk and laugh and make sideways comments through the entire class! My clever hubby raised his hand when the teacher asked if anyone wasn't going to be delivering at this particular hospital. The teacher was very efficient and was ready to write down where we would be when my husband promptly informed her that HE wasn't delivering anywhere, it would be me! I of course gave him the first of many death looks but couldn't stop myself from laughing at his wittiness. (He usually isn't quite so quick!) As the teacher plowed forward through all the guy humor she got to the point where you discuss the actual labor process, how long each portion of labor will generally take and what it will "look like" for Mom. She explained that the first portion of labor can take up to 8 hours. Hubby is on a roll. He can hardly contain himself as he leans over to tell me, "I give up on a poop after 20 minutes!" and smiles from ear to ear like it is the funniest thing he has heard all day. I laugh to myself but cover my face in embarrassment! This is going to be a LONG 5 weeks!
After the first class, hubby is more convinced than ever that there is NO NEED for him to leave my head. He doesn't have to see what the doctor is doing nor does he want to. I have already given him the OK that he can do whatever makes him the most comfortable, whether that be staying close to my head and waiting until the baby is all clean to hold or helping the doc deliver and cutting the umbilical cord. Whatever works to keep him upright and off the hospital floor is perfect for me!
During the class the teacher told us we would be coming up with our birthing plan where we write down how we want this process to go and things we hope to do during labor. As I sat and thought about it I realized I must be extremely ignorant because right now, the plan is to have contractions, get in the car, drive to the hospital, wheel me in, hook me in to the epidural, labor for however long it takes and have a baby. I thought that was ALL there was to it? There's more? It has to get complicated? Is it going to become some big production like our wedding? Maybe I am just simpleminded but I don't want to have to think of a birth plan. That's what my doctors and nurses went to school for. They should tell me what I am supposed to be doing. Hopefully not balancing precariously on some giant rubber ball or on all fours delivering backwards but just say push when its time to push and up the meds when I hurt worse. Right? Isn't that the idea? Why do we have to get creative with it. No one is going to remember how I gave birth, just that I did. I would have never known there were so many options out there. It seems like the old standard has worked pretty well for the last few hundred years.
So hopefully in 5 weeks I will be MORE prepared than I am now but fully aware that I am not prepared at all for what will be happening in 12 short weeks. Never have I felt so incompetent at something and been so excited for it! I cannot wait to meet my child but I know it is going to be one of the most challenging experiences of my life! As my Mom always said, it's like the Marines. It's the hardest job you'll ever love.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Be Fruitful and Multiply At Your Own Risk
What is it about things that can potentially be scary that causes people to hold back on the details??? Pregnancy for example has more hidden secrets than Pharaoh's pyramids! Do people honestly think that if they tell you all the details before you get pregnant that you will choose not to??? I think there was a counsel of old women who sat around a roaring fire one evening and made a pact to wait until all the younger women got knocked up to tell them anything!
** CAUTION: THIS BLOG WILL CONTAIN GROSS STUFF!**
So the minute you find out you are pregnant you start counting up the months. Little Susie or Little Johnnie will be born 9 months from conception right??? So you have it all figured out, you head to the Doc to confirm your exciting suspicions and then WHAMO! Out of nowhere they tell you the due date and its a month off. How can this be?!?!? I know when I got pregnant! I even counted with my fingers. Yes I am quite sure they are mistaken. So you ask....ARE YOU SURE THAT DUE DATE IS RIGHT?!?! I THINK YOU MIGHT BE OFF BY A MONTH! Then the nurse gives you the look that you will get so many times throughout your pregnancy. The look that says, "Oh yes, you are a first time mother, you poor sweet unsuspecting girl." She then gently explains that pregnancy is 40 weeks which roughly translates into 10 months. WHAT?!?! None of my science classes teach 10 months!!! I have always heard 9 months!!! Someone somewhere decided this would be the first of so many cruel pregnancy jokes!
The next thing that you find out late about are the changes your body is going to go through. Yes, yes, we all know about morning sickness, bulging bellies and stretch marks but there's more!!! YEAH I KNOW! MORE! Did you know that as your uterus stretches with the baby's growth you actually have abdominal pain? Your belly also itches like crazy as the skin starts to get taut with baby. Some people develop terrible varicose veins on their legs so bad they have to wear support hose. Your boobs become as tender as a man's kohonas (I imagine) so that just brushing against something is painful. Not only do your boobs and belly get bigger but so do your arms, butt, nose, well anything that has skin attached to it! And all this is just some of the stuff that happens during pregnancy!!!
Once its time to have that precious bundle of joy there are more surprises. They no longer give you an enema. You are just supposed to push and poo on the table. From what I hear they efficiently and quietly clean it up where you may never know it happened. Also if you give birth to a boy, it is the OB that actually does the circumcision. Is it just me or is this incredibly ironic. A doctor that only went to school for woman parts is going to mess with the most manly part of all, possibly scaring the child for life if too much is taken or not enough!!! Then once you get finished with the most tiring experience of your life and have pushed out a baby and the surrounding goo, the doc will reach inside of you and pull a karate kid. Wax on, wax off. They want to be sure there is nothing left inside of you that might cause you to hemorrhage later on. Yep, their hand inside your who who! And if your uterus doesn't contract on its own after the birthing experience (which helps to re-tighten everything) they actually give you a shot of something to make you contract!!! I thought I would be done with contractions at this point!!!
Now on to the rest. You apparently do not nurse just out of the end of your nipple, you nurse out of the entire nipple! You also squirt milk during sex and in the shower! Face it ladies, we are destined to be dairy production lines. We also can no longer hold our pee pee as well as we used to be able to and our taut who whos might not be so taut anymore! And this is only the stuff I have found out so far that has been shocking to me. I am sure there will be a long list in the months and years to come that have escaped human decency to tell us unsuspecting women! Until then, be fruitful and multiply at your own risk!
** CAUTION: THIS BLOG WILL CONTAIN GROSS STUFF!**
So the minute you find out you are pregnant you start counting up the months. Little Susie or Little Johnnie will be born 9 months from conception right??? So you have it all figured out, you head to the Doc to confirm your exciting suspicions and then WHAMO! Out of nowhere they tell you the due date and its a month off. How can this be?!?!? I know when I got pregnant! I even counted with my fingers. Yes I am quite sure they are mistaken. So you ask....ARE YOU SURE THAT DUE DATE IS RIGHT?!?! I THINK YOU MIGHT BE OFF BY A MONTH! Then the nurse gives you the look that you will get so many times throughout your pregnancy. The look that says, "Oh yes, you are a first time mother, you poor sweet unsuspecting girl." She then gently explains that pregnancy is 40 weeks which roughly translates into 10 months. WHAT?!?! None of my science classes teach 10 months!!! I have always heard 9 months!!! Someone somewhere decided this would be the first of so many cruel pregnancy jokes!
The next thing that you find out late about are the changes your body is going to go through. Yes, yes, we all know about morning sickness, bulging bellies and stretch marks but there's more!!! YEAH I KNOW! MORE! Did you know that as your uterus stretches with the baby's growth you actually have abdominal pain? Your belly also itches like crazy as the skin starts to get taut with baby. Some people develop terrible varicose veins on their legs so bad they have to wear support hose. Your boobs become as tender as a man's kohonas (I imagine) so that just brushing against something is painful. Not only do your boobs and belly get bigger but so do your arms, butt, nose, well anything that has skin attached to it! And all this is just some of the stuff that happens during pregnancy!!!
Once its time to have that precious bundle of joy there are more surprises. They no longer give you an enema. You are just supposed to push and poo on the table. From what I hear they efficiently and quietly clean it up where you may never know it happened. Also if you give birth to a boy, it is the OB that actually does the circumcision. Is it just me or is this incredibly ironic. A doctor that only went to school for woman parts is going to mess with the most manly part of all, possibly scaring the child for life if too much is taken or not enough!!! Then once you get finished with the most tiring experience of your life and have pushed out a baby and the surrounding goo, the doc will reach inside of you and pull a karate kid. Wax on, wax off. They want to be sure there is nothing left inside of you that might cause you to hemorrhage later on. Yep, their hand inside your who who! And if your uterus doesn't contract on its own after the birthing experience (which helps to re-tighten everything) they actually give you a shot of something to make you contract!!! I thought I would be done with contractions at this point!!!
Now on to the rest. You apparently do not nurse just out of the end of your nipple, you nurse out of the entire nipple! You also squirt milk during sex and in the shower! Face it ladies, we are destined to be dairy production lines. We also can no longer hold our pee pee as well as we used to be able to and our taut who whos might not be so taut anymore! And this is only the stuff I have found out so far that has been shocking to me. I am sure there will be a long list in the months and years to come that have escaped human decency to tell us unsuspecting women! Until then, be fruitful and multiply at your own risk!
Friday, April 16, 2010
When A Child Is Born......So Is A Daddy!
I know I might be a little bit biased but I am pretty sure I married the greatest man in the world! Does that mean he is perfect? HAHA! NOPE! Far from it but he's pretty fabulous!
As a little girl when you play house with your dolls and pretend Mommy Barbie and Daddy Barbie have baby Barbie. You have Daddy Barbie helping Mommy Barbie in every way. Changing diapers, holding baby, feeding baby; whatever Mommy Barbie does, so does Daddy Barbie. Fast forward twenty years and somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain you still think this is going to be the case! And according to most all my friends, its not! Now who knows once Baby Wink arrives what Hubby might do but so far he has been a dream!
I have actually been quite amused with Hubby. As soon as he found out we were expecting he has talked to my belly (never mind the fact that I told him the baby couldn't hear him until 18 weeks) but for some reason takes on a robot voice every time! "Hel- lo-Ba-by-this-is-Da-ddy-speak-ing. What-are-you-do-ing-in-there?" Our little bundle is going to think its half android or it may already be thinking (13 years ahead of its time) that its Dad is weird! But hey, Hubby is taking an interest and interacting with the baby, so I am thrilled.
I was cleaning the house recently along with Hubby (yes we share the work) and had swept a mess into a big pile and was ready to sweep it into the dust pan when he walked into the room. He immediately got a panicked look on his face and told me I wasn't allowed to do that because I was pregnant. "Bend over?" I asked him sarcastically and he himed and hawed and finally gave in. Not to mention now every time I get in the car he tells me to put on my seat-belt (even though I have never ridden in a car without one and it is usually on when he says it). I talked to him on the phone recently and he very dramatically told me how he was dealing with the mortality of life right now and was "EVEN GOING THE SPEED LIMIT ON MY MOTORCYCLE!!!" He was in awe of himself!
Another evening we had dinner with friends and were walking to the car when I remembered I had bought an outfit for Baby Wink that day. I ran to the car to show my friend and I assumed Hubby would roll his eyes and tell me I didn't need to spend any money or something to that effect. Instead he got all dreamy looking and softly announced that he could not wait to meet our baby! I almost cried it was so sweet! When we got the stroller and infant car seat travel system, Hubby immediately had to try everything out. He installed it in his car, pressed every button, pulled every cord and said he would be reading the entire instruction book. After he knew how to install it in his car he asked me if I was ready to put it in my car!!!! I said thank you but that thing will be in my car for the next 10 years, let's not expedite the process. It can wait 5 months! His look of disappointment almost made me change my mind.... almost.
My Christmas present this year was a crib Hubby built by hand because he was just so excited about being a Daddy. It was so sweet and I loved the thought but its too low, the stain scares me if the child decides to gnaw, the dowels aren't regulation width and I am sure I am just scratching the surface of what could be harmful to our child. Hubby didn't care. He was so proud. He said he didn't care if we ever used it, he just wanted to see if he could do it. HAHA! We agreed to use it as a toddler bed when Baby outgrows the crib.
A friend gave us a Baby k'Tan (for those of you as new to this as me, its a baby wrap thing that is like a jersey version of a Baby Bjorn) that she had used. As soon as I showed Hubby he had to try it out. He got online, found the video instructions for putting it on and was soon carrying our 6 pound Chorkie, Phoebe, around the house while he was taking a work phone call. They both loved it!
I can go on and on about Hubby's funny, excited antics since he found out he was going to be a Daddy but I am just thankful to have such an involved and loving husband that already loves our child so much! Thank you Hubby and I love you so much!
As a little girl when you play house with your dolls and pretend Mommy Barbie and Daddy Barbie have baby Barbie. You have Daddy Barbie helping Mommy Barbie in every way. Changing diapers, holding baby, feeding baby; whatever Mommy Barbie does, so does Daddy Barbie. Fast forward twenty years and somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain you still think this is going to be the case! And according to most all my friends, its not! Now who knows once Baby Wink arrives what Hubby might do but so far he has been a dream!
I have actually been quite amused with Hubby. As soon as he found out we were expecting he has talked to my belly (never mind the fact that I told him the baby couldn't hear him until 18 weeks) but for some reason takes on a robot voice every time! "Hel- lo-Ba-by-this-is-Da-ddy-speak-ing. What-are-you-do-ing-in-there?" Our little bundle is going to think its half android or it may already be thinking (13 years ahead of its time) that its Dad is weird! But hey, Hubby is taking an interest and interacting with the baby, so I am thrilled.
I was cleaning the house recently along with Hubby (yes we share the work) and had swept a mess into a big pile and was ready to sweep it into the dust pan when he walked into the room. He immediately got a panicked look on his face and told me I wasn't allowed to do that because I was pregnant. "Bend over?" I asked him sarcastically and he himed and hawed and finally gave in. Not to mention now every time I get in the car he tells me to put on my seat-belt (even though I have never ridden in a car without one and it is usually on when he says it). I talked to him on the phone recently and he very dramatically told me how he was dealing with the mortality of life right now and was "EVEN GOING THE SPEED LIMIT ON MY MOTORCYCLE!!!" He was in awe of himself!
Another evening we had dinner with friends and were walking to the car when I remembered I had bought an outfit for Baby Wink that day. I ran to the car to show my friend and I assumed Hubby would roll his eyes and tell me I didn't need to spend any money or something to that effect. Instead he got all dreamy looking and softly announced that he could not wait to meet our baby! I almost cried it was so sweet! When we got the stroller and infant car seat travel system, Hubby immediately had to try everything out. He installed it in his car, pressed every button, pulled every cord and said he would be reading the entire instruction book. After he knew how to install it in his car he asked me if I was ready to put it in my car!!!! I said thank you but that thing will be in my car for the next 10 years, let's not expedite the process. It can wait 5 months! His look of disappointment almost made me change my mind.... almost.
My Christmas present this year was a crib Hubby built by hand because he was just so excited about being a Daddy. It was so sweet and I loved the thought but its too low, the stain scares me if the child decides to gnaw, the dowels aren't regulation width and I am sure I am just scratching the surface of what could be harmful to our child. Hubby didn't care. He was so proud. He said he didn't care if we ever used it, he just wanted to see if he could do it. HAHA! We agreed to use it as a toddler bed when Baby outgrows the crib.A friend gave us a Baby k'Tan (for those of you as new to this as me, its a baby wrap thing that is like a jersey version of a Baby Bjorn) that she had used. As soon as I showed Hubby he had to try it out. He got online, found the video instructions for putting it on and was soon carrying our 6 pound Chorkie, Phoebe, around the house while he was taking a work phone call. They both loved it!
I can go on and on about Hubby's funny, excited antics since he found out he was going to be a Daddy but I am just thankful to have such an involved and loving husband that already loves our child so much! Thank you Hubby and I love you so much!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Chubby Bunny
Spring is a time for bright colors, sundresses and new life. I must admit I am happy about the new life- especially my small new life inside of me! Sundresses are a Godsend for expanding bellies and hot flashes. But bright colors? Obviously Spring did not get the memo that I cannot go to the tanning bed and look like Casper trying to go tropical! To make matters worse a nice tan helps make you look thinner all over and at a time when looking the slightest bit more thin can do wonders for your ego, its really a letdown!
Needless to say I donned my bright Easter apparel and set off to spend the weekend with the fam. The first people to see me were my aunts. I met them at a shop and they immediately hugged me and had to rub my belly. Neither commented on how great I looked but neither commented on my bulging body either! 0 Points for my ego. So while I was shopping with the aunts I decided to purchase some large gaudy earrings that would hopefully draw people's attention from my midsection to my face.... or at least my ears! Anything to help confuse the masses.
Our next stop was dinner with all 18 of my family members. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Cousins babies, Maw Maw... you get the idea. As each person trickled in, the reactions were hilarious. My brother didn't even want to look at me below the neck. When he did he had a funny look on his face like someone had just offered to put honey on broccoli and feed it to him. And when I told him to touch my belly because it was starting to get hard I thought I had sent him over the edge. Minus 1 Point for the ego.
My oldest cousin couldn't stop smiling (this might have to do with the fact that he is a proud new papa himself) and his girlfriend wanted to know everything. They were the most excited but I think it is because they are secretly hoping my child will be louder than theirs and I will get dirty looks and they can point to theirs and say "Look how good ours is acting!" Or maybe that is my paranoia setting in. 1 Point for the ego so back to 0.
Everyone else hugged me and wanted to feel my belly and let me go on and on about Baby this and Baby that. They patiently looked at each ultrasound picture as if they cared to see the fuzzy black and white pictures of Skeletore while they were eating. And of course each one decided what the sex was going to be. 5 Points for the ego.
Leave it to Maw Maw (my mother's mom) to make me feel like the prom queen. Midway through the meal as she sat halfway down the long table and I was at one end she loudly declared that she thought I looked more beautiful than she had ever seen me and that she thought pregnancy agreed with me! WOW! Now what girl doesn't want to hear that everyday of her life! Score 10 points for the ego! So needless to say I was on cloud nine the rest of my time with the fam.
But the weekend wouldn't be complete without stopping in to see my Grandmother (dad's mom) on the drive home. Hubby and I were so excited. We were going to visit with her, have an awesome home cooked meal and get to pick up the baby bassinet that was my father's and has been used for every baby on that side of the family since. Our child will be the 12th in 54 years! AMAZING! As we pulled into Grandmother's driveway she came out to greet us on the porch. She gave me a hug and a once over and we went inside. As we sat down I thought my ego was going to get another boost when she began a sentence saying "You don't even look pregnant!" Of course I began to beam. But it was short lived because the next words out of her mouth took the wind right out of my sails! "You just look like you are getting chubby all over, especially in your arms!" WHAT??! CHUBBY?!?! I have never been called chubby!!! My life is over! Minus 50 Points for the ego!!! But then I couldn't help but laugh because the scene was so comical! Hubby was trying to pick his jaw up off the floor and couldn't decide what to say, Grandmother was just so darn proud to be having another great grandchild housed in a "healthy" vessel and I was trying to get compliments like "You don't look pregnant" when I am over 5 months pregnant!
As we got in the car to come home Hubby looked at me pitifully and I assured him I was ok but that he should have been there through puberty! We laughed and drove away feeling just a little deflated but so excited about Spring, new life, sunshine and family!
Needless to say I donned my bright Easter apparel and set off to spend the weekend with the fam. The first people to see me were my aunts. I met them at a shop and they immediately hugged me and had to rub my belly. Neither commented on how great I looked but neither commented on my bulging body either! 0 Points for my ego. So while I was shopping with the aunts I decided to purchase some large gaudy earrings that would hopefully draw people's attention from my midsection to my face.... or at least my ears! Anything to help confuse the masses.
Our next stop was dinner with all 18 of my family members. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Cousins babies, Maw Maw... you get the idea. As each person trickled in, the reactions were hilarious. My brother didn't even want to look at me below the neck. When he did he had a funny look on his face like someone had just offered to put honey on broccoli and feed it to him. And when I told him to touch my belly because it was starting to get hard I thought I had sent him over the edge. Minus 1 Point for the ego.
My oldest cousin couldn't stop smiling (this might have to do with the fact that he is a proud new papa himself) and his girlfriend wanted to know everything. They were the most excited but I think it is because they are secretly hoping my child will be louder than theirs and I will get dirty looks and they can point to theirs and say "Look how good ours is acting!" Or maybe that is my paranoia setting in. 1 Point for the ego so back to 0.
Everyone else hugged me and wanted to feel my belly and let me go on and on about Baby this and Baby that. They patiently looked at each ultrasound picture as if they cared to see the fuzzy black and white pictures of Skeletore while they were eating. And of course each one decided what the sex was going to be. 5 Points for the ego.
Leave it to Maw Maw (my mother's mom) to make me feel like the prom queen. Midway through the meal as she sat halfway down the long table and I was at one end she loudly declared that she thought I looked more beautiful than she had ever seen me and that she thought pregnancy agreed with me! WOW! Now what girl doesn't want to hear that everyday of her life! Score 10 points for the ego! So needless to say I was on cloud nine the rest of my time with the fam.
But the weekend wouldn't be complete without stopping in to see my Grandmother (dad's mom) on the drive home. Hubby and I were so excited. We were going to visit with her, have an awesome home cooked meal and get to pick up the baby bassinet that was my father's and has been used for every baby on that side of the family since. Our child will be the 12th in 54 years! AMAZING! As we pulled into Grandmother's driveway she came out to greet us on the porch. She gave me a hug and a once over and we went inside. As we sat down I thought my ego was going to get another boost when she began a sentence saying "You don't even look pregnant!" Of course I began to beam. But it was short lived because the next words out of her mouth took the wind right out of my sails! "You just look like you are getting chubby all over, especially in your arms!" WHAT??! CHUBBY?!?! I have never been called chubby!!! My life is over! Minus 50 Points for the ego!!! But then I couldn't help but laugh because the scene was so comical! Hubby was trying to pick his jaw up off the floor and couldn't decide what to say, Grandmother was just so darn proud to be having another great grandchild housed in a "healthy" vessel and I was trying to get compliments like "You don't look pregnant" when I am over 5 months pregnant!
As we got in the car to come home Hubby looked at me pitifully and I assured him I was ok but that he should have been there through puberty! We laughed and drove away feeling just a little deflated but so excited about Spring, new life, sunshine and family!
Friday, March 26, 2010
IT'S A...................
BABY! Yes, we are some of the unique few that has decided not to find out the sex of our child. It is a strange feeling to have a life growing inside of you and never know what to call "it." I am constantly searching for news ways not to say "it." "It" sounds so unloving and cold like this isn't a life. I call "it" "baby", "bundle", "shrimp" and "baby wink" just to name a few. Anything works really, as long as it's not "it!" Friends have come up with clever names like Shamequa Tomika Bon Que Que for my "it". Others ask about my "little one." Yesterday, the ultrasound tech said it was the size of a Barbie and I thought of calling "it" that but then wondered what "it" would think about being called Barbie if it grew into a man anywhere near the size of my hubby! Probably a little emasculating!
So many people have said "WHY aren't you finding out?!?!" or "I could never do that!!!" but I honestly can't imagine doing it any other way! I love surprises and I think this is the ULTIMATE in life's surprises for us! Hubby on the other hand is just along for the ride! I thought he was going to whip out some cash yesterday in the ultrasound room after the tech said she knew what it was! He kept craning his neck to catch a peek until finally I had to threaten to put him in a corner! He asked me how I was gonna do that and I quickly let him know there are privileges that can be taken away! ; ) (Man I already have this mothering thing DOWN!)
I think one of the funniest things during pregnancy has been everyone's need to decide what the baby will be. Hubby got online and looked up the Chinese calendar and said we are having a girl.....I looked it up and it said boy half the time and girl the other half. Family decided immediately from the first heart rate that it was a girl. A Chinese woman at lunch yesterday said it was a boy because I am only carrying in my tummy. (This, only after she rubbed my belly while I was eating!) I however think I am gaining everywhere so maybe its a girl. People have seen the baby's profile pic and said it looked masculine so it is a boy. But ultimately, half of you will be right! We've got a 50% chance here of figuring this one out. Although Hubby is now convinced we are having Skeletor and is quite pumped about it! I think he thinks all his boyhood hero days are about to be fulfilled. I am sorry to disappoint everyone but I have no gut feelings and could really care less. I really do want to be surprised come August. No matter what I will be so thrilled just to hold Baby in my arms and touch and squeeze "it." But for now I will just continue trying not to say "it" and listen to everyone's predictions and suggestions!
So many people have said "WHY aren't you finding out?!?!" or "I could never do that!!!" but I honestly can't imagine doing it any other way! I love surprises and I think this is the ULTIMATE in life's surprises for us! Hubby on the other hand is just along for the ride! I thought he was going to whip out some cash yesterday in the ultrasound room after the tech said she knew what it was! He kept craning his neck to catch a peek until finally I had to threaten to put him in a corner! He asked me how I was gonna do that and I quickly let him know there are privileges that can be taken away! ; ) (Man I already have this mothering thing DOWN!)
I think one of the funniest things during pregnancy has been everyone's need to decide what the baby will be. Hubby got online and looked up the Chinese calendar and said we are having a girl.....I looked it up and it said boy half the time and girl the other half. Family decided immediately from the first heart rate that it was a girl. A Chinese woman at lunch yesterday said it was a boy because I am only carrying in my tummy. (This, only after she rubbed my belly while I was eating!) I however think I am gaining everywhere so maybe its a girl. People have seen the baby's profile pic and said it looked masculine so it is a boy. But ultimately, half of you will be right! We've got a 50% chance here of figuring this one out. Although Hubby is now convinced we are having Skeletor and is quite pumped about it! I think he thinks all his boyhood hero days are about to be fulfilled. I am sorry to disappoint everyone but I have no gut feelings and could really care less. I really do want to be surprised come August. No matter what I will be so thrilled just to hold Baby in my arms and touch and squeeze "it." But for now I will just continue trying not to say "it" and listen to everyone's predictions and suggestions!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
It's cute?!?!
So I have been thin or relatively so for all 27 years of my life. This morning I woke up to the realization that I am not. Not only that, but I am supposed to be excited, even giddy about my new rounding body. What's up with that?!?! I mean don't get me wrong, I am thrilled about what my plump new center means but still the idea of seeing yourself being blown up like a balloon is not fun at all!!! You see, I am 19 weeks and 5 days pregnant with our first child! Thrilling, yes; but an ethereal, connected to the Earth experience, no!
Just a few short weeks ago, I could not wait to see my protruding belly. I thought it would be cute like Heidi Klum or Angelina Jolie but guess what???? If you didn't have their body pre-preggars you don't magically get it because a sweet little baby arrives in your belly!!! Nope, hate to say it out loud but this morning I realized there isn't a thing about this that is cute! Your clothes don't fit so you are actually running around town with your pants unzipped and unbuttoned and the only thing separating you from the song "Pants on the Ground" is a tight spandex tube! You can kiss button down shirts goodbye unless you are just gonna wear them unbuttoned and let the girls fly or go to the dreaded cami that really shows off that baby bump! Shoes are becoming an issue because you really can't wear anything complicated because you will never get them on. If you can't slip into them or call your husband over to put them on for you, forget it! And bras!!! Why don't they have maternity bras??? They have nursing bras. Why hasn't someone invented a bra that somehow grows with you! I had to go buy a new bra this weekend and I still have 5 months to grow....oh I mean go! This is not going to be pretty come August!
Oh but everywhere you go, friends and family start seeing the first "signs of life" and they all exclaim.... "LOOK HOW CUTE!!!!" It thrills people (myself included until just this week) to see that yes you really are going to have a baby and here is the magical proof. Forget all the stuff you have been telling them that has suddenly begun to malfunction in your body, this, this little bulge proves it! Not the sonogram image of the shrimp. Not the videotape of the heart beat. Not the process of picking out the name. Nope this single "little" transformation makes it real to anyone that knows you.
But just as I think, man is this really worth it? My baby begins to stretch and move and I realize I never had a chance. Of course it's worth it! This baby is the product of the love my husband and I share. This is half him and half me! (Hopefully more him than me!) This is everything we have dreamed of. So I will watch as I can eventually eat my morning cereal off my stomach and be happy about it but for now I will just think its a little surreal.
Just a few short weeks ago, I could not wait to see my protruding belly. I thought it would be cute like Heidi Klum or Angelina Jolie but guess what???? If you didn't have their body pre-preggars you don't magically get it because a sweet little baby arrives in your belly!!! Nope, hate to say it out loud but this morning I realized there isn't a thing about this that is cute! Your clothes don't fit so you are actually running around town with your pants unzipped and unbuttoned and the only thing separating you from the song "Pants on the Ground" is a tight spandex tube! You can kiss button down shirts goodbye unless you are just gonna wear them unbuttoned and let the girls fly or go to the dreaded cami that really shows off that baby bump! Shoes are becoming an issue because you really can't wear anything complicated because you will never get them on. If you can't slip into them or call your husband over to put them on for you, forget it! And bras!!! Why don't they have maternity bras??? They have nursing bras. Why hasn't someone invented a bra that somehow grows with you! I had to go buy a new bra this weekend and I still have 5 months to grow....oh I mean go! This is not going to be pretty come August!
Oh but everywhere you go, friends and family start seeing the first "signs of life" and they all exclaim.... "LOOK HOW CUTE!!!!" It thrills people (myself included until just this week) to see that yes you really are going to have a baby and here is the magical proof. Forget all the stuff you have been telling them that has suddenly begun to malfunction in your body, this, this little bulge proves it! Not the sonogram image of the shrimp. Not the videotape of the heart beat. Not the process of picking out the name. Nope this single "little" transformation makes it real to anyone that knows you.
But just as I think, man is this really worth it? My baby begins to stretch and move and I realize I never had a chance. Of course it's worth it! This baby is the product of the love my husband and I share. This is half him and half me! (Hopefully more him than me!) This is everything we have dreamed of. So I will watch as I can eventually eat my morning cereal off my stomach and be happy about it but for now I will just think its a little surreal.
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